


I Keep You on My Mind Both Day and Night

by whispered_story



Series: I Met My Future [2]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Established Relationship, Journalist Jared, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Photographer Jensen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-08
Updated: 2015-09-08
Packaged: 2018-04-19 18:17:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4756304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whispered_story/pseuds/whispered_story
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen fears that his relationship with Jared can't possibly be this good forever.  [repost, first posted on livejournal 13/4/2011]</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Keep You on My Mind Both Day and Night

Sometimes, when Jensen looks at Jared, he can't believe he ever got this lucky. That Jared is his. 

He wonders if other people feel this way when they look at someone they love – that overwhelming feeling of happiness, of everything being right. It's a little too good some days and there are moments when Jensen thinks it can't last. That it's going to all come crashing down some day, because life can't be this good, he can't be this happy forever.

He voices that thought once, on a Sunday morning sitting at the counter and watching Jared make breakfast for the two them.

Jared just throws his head back and laughs.

"No, really," Jensen insists, clutching his coffee cup a little tighter. "Look at other people, Jay, and how fucking miserable life can be."

"So, what, you think it's impossible for us to have a happy relationship for the rest of our life?"

"Maybe."

"Our parents are still happily married," Jared points out, pulling the pan with the eggs off the stove.

"That's different," Jensen says.

"How so?" Jared asks, throwing Jensen a puzzled look. "You know, this is all just in your head. You're worrying because you're a freaking pessimist and you can't just be happy. But guess what? You're wrong."

Jared doesn't sound upset, just amused and Jensen can see the hint of dimples as Jared piles food onto their plates. He wants to press up close and kiss them, feel them under his lips and let Jared's happiness seep into him.

"What if I'm not?" he asks. He slips off the stool he's been sitting on, nearly tripping over the too long sweatpants he's wearing. "What happens if one of us falls out of love with the other?"

Jared sighs and picks up their plates. 

Jensen follows him to the kitchen table, coffee mug still in his hands, feeling a little bit like a puppy trailing after their favorite human. He's not a puppy, but the rest of the analogy is scarily accurate. 

Maybe, he thinks as he sits down, he hasn't really thought this conversation through. Or maybe he just shouldn't be allowed to talk before he's had at least two cups of coffee.

"And in what world is that going to happen, moron?" Jared asks, voices teasing. 

He pushes the salt over to Jensen without prompting, then picks up his fork and starts eating.

Jensen sprinkles salt onto his eggs and shrugs. "But theoretically it could. Anything is possible."

"Not this," Jared answers.

"Jared."

"Okay, fine. If you one day decide you don't love me anymore, you tell me and we'll work it out. It would suck and I'd probably lock myself away for a few weeks, eat junk food, drink too much, watch mindless TV, and ignore your calls. But you'd still be my best friend, Jensen, and I might need some time to get over it and it would hurt, but that would never change," Jared says, sounding final. He picks up his coffee, taking a big gulp, and looks at Jensen over the rim of his mug with raised eyebrows. 

"What if you fall out of love with me?"

Jared snorts. "Not going to happen. Not even theoretically."

Jensen's lips twitch into a smile and he tries to bite it back. "That's stupid. Anything can happen theoretically."

"Yeah, well, that's the one exception then," Jared answers with a grin. He flicks a crumb of toast off his plate, hitting Jensen's cheek, and cackles.

Jensen rolls his eyes with a smile. "You're an idiot, Padalecki."

"Says the guy who's angsting over his perfectly fine relationship."

"Perfectly fine?" Jensen repeats. "Perfectly fine sounds boring. We're not boring."

"Damn right. We're awesome. We're the best couple in the history of couples and our gay love will surpass every other love that existed before." Jared clutches his chest theatrically. 

Jensen huffs. "You're being an ass. Stop making fun of me. I was being serious, man."

Jared cracks a smile, looking at him fondly. "Drink you're coffee, Jensen. You'll stop being that stupid once you've had your coffee."

"I don't think people in a healthy relationship insult each other that much."

"Guess that's where they go wrong," Jared replies, stealing Jensen's untouched piece of toast. 

Jensen tries to slap his hand away, but he's to slow and Jared pumps his free fist in victory while biting into the toast.

"Ass."

"Freak," Jared counters, voice muffled as he chews, and twines their legs under the table.

+

The first time Jensen picked up a camera – a real single-lens reflex camera, not one of those cheap, plastic ones you have when you're a kid – he was fourteen. It had been a Christmas present from his parents, and Jensen still doesn't know how they came up with the gift. He'd never really been interested in photography before. But then his parents gave him the camera, and Jensen spent the whole Christmas break trying it out, figuring out what lenses to use, toying with lights and distances and motifs.

He went through several rolls of films and he still remembers the excitement he felt when he went to get the first few developed.

He took the photos home, spread them out in his room and eyed them critically, trying to figure out what he could do better, do differently.

"Maybe you should try taking photos of something other than Jared," Josh suggested, rolling his eyes when he found Jensen in his room later that afternoon, still peering down at the photos.

Jensen cocked his head, frowned at Jared's faces staring back at him from most of the photos he'd taken. 

"He's photogenic," he replied.

Josh huffed disbelievingly and muttered something under his breath that Jensen couldn't make out, and Jensen just ignored him.

The light was wrong in some of the photos, he thought, making the angles of Jared's face look too sharp. In others Jared's smile was obviously faked for the camera, probably because he'd been sick of Jensen pointing the thing in his face all day, and Jensen sorted those out. His best shots, he thought, were those where he'd caught Jared off guard, his happy wide smile and bright eyes and floppy hair everywhere.

Those were Jensen's best photos and he'd kept them in a box, slowly adding more and more over the years, showing Jared as he grew older, grew up, getting taller and his shoulders getting broader, the softness of his face replaced by sharper angles. The dimples stayed though, and so did the floppy hair and the bright eyes, always right there for Jensen to capture forever.

Fourteen years later Jared is still Jensen's favorite subject, the one person he never gets tired of using as his model.

+

"You're home," his mother says, sounding surprised, when Jensen picks up the phone.

"Yes? Do you always call people not expecting them to be home?" he replies, carrying the phone back to the couch and flopping down with a sigh.

"I thought you might be out. I was just gonna leave you a message," she says. "I called Jared's first, but nobody picked up."

"He's having dinner with friends," Jensen says, leaning forward and looking down at the photos he has spread out on the table. 

"Oh. Did you fight?"

"No?" Jensen furrows his brows, sitting back. "You know, this is kinda a confusing conversation."

His mother huffs and Jensen grins, picturing her with one hand on her hip and an exasperated expression on her face. "Well, excuse me. It's just become very rare for you to be home. You're always at Jared's."

"He has Harley and Sadie. It's easier for me to be at his place."

"Yet you two are paying rent for two places."

"Momma," Jensen says with a groan. "Really? Is this going to be one of those talks? Where you start hinting about how I should move in with my boyfriend, make an honest man out of him, and start giving you grandchildren."

"I didn't say a word about any of that," she says. "I'm just pointing out that you and Jared barely spend any time apart anymore."

"Yes. In case you forgot, it's been that way for the past, oh, 24 years?"

Donna laughs. "Oh, I remember. It's not that often that you suddenly gain a third son overnight," she teases. 

"Please, you were delighted," Jensen counters. "So, any reason you called?"

"To talk to my son?" she asks. "And maybe guilt trip him into coming for a visit soon? We could have a big barbeque."

"Luring me home with food. It's like the first year of college all over again. Wanna tell me where that idea came from?"

Donna sighs. "I thought it would be nice."

"Mom."

"And Sherri might think her son has something he might want to share with the family, so she wants to get Jared and Megan and Jeff to come home at the same time."

"Um, no? As far as I know Jared has nothing to share," Jensen replies, confused. 

The thought of Jared makes him lean forward again, eyes landing on the four photos. One is of Jared laughing, head thrown back and eyes crinkling, the sun reflecting on his face. He's so damn gorgeous that Jensen's heart aches. 

"Her other son."

"Jeff?" Jensen asks. "Don't tell me he's getting divorced already?"

"Just the opposite. Sherri thinks Cara might be pregnant," Donna says, sounding so excited that Jensen rolls his eyes.

"You're aware that if that's true it would be Sherri's grand-kid, right? Not yours?" 

He picks up the second photo. Jared's rolling around in the grass of his backyard with the dogs, all of them in one huge pile. Jensen thinks he might frame it, give it to Jared because Jared would no doubt love it. 

"Well, my kids don't seem to want to give me grandchildren any time soon. I have to take what I can get."

"Tell that to Josh and Mac, mom. I'm gay, remember?"

Donna huffs. "What happened to the shy, polite boy I raised?"

"You love me," Jensen sing songs.

His mother sighs loudly, but Jensen can tell she's smiling even over the phone. "So, would you and Jared be able to make it down here for a weekend?"

"Shouldn't be a problem."

"Great," Donna says. "I gotta go now. Your dad is taking me out for dinner. Say hi to Jared when you see him later tonight, baby, will you?"

"What if I don't see him tonight?"

Donna huffs out a laugh and Jensen grumbles under his breath as they hang up.

He's on his way to Jared's house three hours later. 

His mother is right, he thinks. It's unnecessary for Jared and him to have their own places. Jensen hasn't spent more than a couple of nights at his apartment for weeks. And still, the thought of moving in together scares him a little. It's too fast. Too much, too soon. 

Some days it feels like their whole lives, their whole friendship, led up to this. To their relationship. Like his whole life Jensen has waited for this to happen. And then Jared kissed him last summer at the lake, smelling of fire and tasting like chicken salad and beer and everything Jensen has always dreamed of and suddenly Jensen has exactly what he wanted to have. He has Jared. 

He thinks, maybe, he still feels like it's a dream he'll wake up from one day. He still hasn't quite processed that after years of pining for Jared, their relationship is finally reality.

+

"Do you ever feel like we grew up too fast?" Jared asked.

Jensen rolled his head to the side, focusing on Jared, basked in the milky, soft light of the moon. They were parked on the side of an empty highway, miles outside of the city, sitting in the bed of Jared's truck. Just them and the endless Texan sky.

"Why?"

"Because," Jared started, wetting his lips. "It feels like just yesterday that we were kids, you know? Playing in the backyard, riding out bikes down the street, staying up late reading comics together under the blanket with a flashlight."

Jensen chuckled. "'t was kinda awesome, wasn't it?"

"Yeah. Exactly. And now we're moving to a different state to go off to college. We're not kids anymore. It's--"

"A huge step?"

"Feels like it, yeah, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, it does," Jensen agreed, knocking his leg against Jared's. "It's gonna be good though."

"I don't think I could do it without you."

"Don't be melodramatic. Do you know how many people our age move out and go to college each year? And they all survive just fine."

"Yeah. But I thought about it last night. What would have happened if we'd gone to different colleges. Or if we'd never even met, you know? If I didn't have you with me for this."

"Can't live without me, huh?" Jensen teased.

Jared sighed, shifting around until he could rest his head on Jensen's shoulder. "No. Don't think I can. Or at least I don't want to."

"You'd be fine without me, Jared."

"Promise me I never have to find out, though," Jared said, sounding sincere and hopeful and so young Jensen wanted to hug him and never let him go. Hold on to his best friend for the rest of his life, because sometimes he thought about it, too, about how it might not be Jared and him against the world for the rest of their lives. They'd meet other people eventually, have relationships that might be more important than their friendship, get married and settle down. The thought made Jensen want to crawl into his bed and never come back out. 

"You might get tired of me one day," he said, teasingly.

Jared sighed. "As if," he replied, voice soft. "You're Jensen."

Jensen snorted out a laugh and didn't reply. He picked up his soda, took a few sips and leaned his head back again, looking up into the sky.

"Jay?" he said. "I promise."

+

"Are you taking photos of me?" Jared mumbles, voice thick and slurry with sleep. He shifts around, blinking at the alarm clock and then at Jensen. "At 7 A.M. on a Saturday?"

"I have an appointment at a gallery downtown in an hour," Jensen replies, lifting his camera again. He zooms in on Jared and shifts a little to the right until the angle is just perfect, listening to the clicking noise with satisfaction. "They might display some of my photos in a show."

"Hmmm. Doesn't explain why you're taking photos of me," Jared replies and yawns, flipping over onto his back. 

The sheets slip farther down, twisting around Jared's waist, and Jensen takes another photo. He could fill countless rolls of film of Jared just like this, with his hair all over the place, a pillow crease on his cheek and the heavy outline of his cock visible through the thin sheet, the stark whiteness of it making Jared's skin look even more tan.

"It's a showcase on nude photography."

Jared blinks, looking a little alarmed. "You're kidding, right?"

"I'm kidding," Jensen replies with a grin. His camera clicks again.

Jared throws his arm over his face, covering his eyes with a groan. "You're a dick."

"Hmmm," Jensen hums. He zooms in, snaps a couple of photos of Jared's face, the bend of his arm displaying the strong muscles. He moves farther down then, looking at Jared through the viewfinder.

"You're also a creeper," Jared says accusingly as the shutter clicks a few times in a row. "Are you taking photos of my cock?"

"You're covered up."

"Still."

Jensen laughs. "Might be."

"Oh my god," Jared mutters, turning back onto his stomach in a quick, fluid motion. "I'm dating a freak. I don't want there to be photos of my dick, Jensen."

"How about your ass?" Jensen asks teasingly, presses the button again. 

Jared huffs and reaches behind his back, groping until his fingers curl into the sheets and pulls them higher up his back.

Jensen chuckles, stepping closer and putting the camera down onto the nightstand. He kneels on the bed, one hand of either side of Jared, and leans down to press a kiss right behind his ear.

"I have to leave now. Don't wanna be late," he says, nuzzling against the soft skin. "Wanna meet up later?"

Jared twists his head and lifts up, pressing their lips together. Jensen wishes he could stay. He wants to crawl back under the sheets, kiss every inch of Jared's sleep-warm skin, press himself against Jared's body until they don't know where one ends and the other begins.

"We could meet up in the park?" Jared suggests when he pulls away, hands sliding behind Jensen's back and tugging Jensen on top of him. Jensen goes easily. "I'm taking the kids out to play. They've been cooped up in the house too much this week. Harley's getting restless."

"Okay. The meeting could take a couple of hours. I'll join you guys when I'm done."

Jared nods. "Good," he says, voice soft, and pulls Jensen down for another kiss.

It takes ten minutes until Jensen finally manages to pull away from Jared, getting off the bed with a final kiss.

"Good luck," Jared says, grinning up at him. "You'll be fine."

"Yeah," Jensen says with a small smile. "Jared--"

He's not sure what he wants to say, looking down at Jared sprawled out in the bed. Jared's bed - only it feels more like it's theirs. Jensen has his own side with his own bedside table where he keeps a book, his glasses, his own alarm clock. His clothes are in Jared's closet, he has three cameras at Jared's place and three times the number of lenses. His things take up more space on the bathroom counter than Jared's.

He wants to say 'can I move in?' or maybe 'are we rushing into this?'. Or maybe, what he really wants to say is, 'this is it for me, and that scares me sometimes.'

"What?" Jared asks with a smile.

Jensen shakes his head softly. "Nothing. I'll see you later?"

"Yeah," Jared replies. "Love you."

"Love you, too," Jensen says and then makes himself leave with a wave and one last look at Jared.

+

In high school they were once asked to write an essay about their family. Jensen doesn't remember what year it was or what exactly the question of the essay had been. All he knows is that he wrote about his parents, and how much he admired them, about Josh and how he looked up to him even when they were fighting all the time, about Mackenzie and being a big brother to her, protecting her and being there for her. And he wrote about Jared. He thinks maybe most of the essay was about Jared, who might not have been related to him, but who was as much Jensen's family as Josh and Mac. Jared, who was his best friend and his confident and his partner in crime and the only person Jensen didn't keep any secrets from. Jared, who he shared everything with and who'd always come first in Jensen's life for as long as he could remember.

His teacher remarked that, while the essay was well written and structured, writing about his best friend wasn't what he'd asked Jensen to do. Jensen thought his teacher was the one who maybe didn't really understand what family was really about and when he ranted over it over lunch Jared just smiled and shared his cookies with Jensen. He didn't have to say a word for Jensen to know that Jared got it.

+

Sadie rushes up to him before Jared even notices him, and Jensen kneels down to greet her, scratching her behind her ears and patting her side as she tries to crawl all over him.

"Hey," Jared calls, jogging up to them with a stick in his hand that Harley is snapping at. "How'd it go?"

"Fine. The manager of the gallery is going to give me a call this week, but I'm pretty sure they'll showcase some of my stuff," Jensen replies, getting back up to Sadie's dismay.

"That's awesome, Jen," Jared grins. He leans down, pressing their lips together in a soft, brief kiss. "We should celebrate tonight."

"Nothing's set in stone yet."

"You'll get the job, I know it," Jared argues with a smile. "You're too damn good not to."

"You're biased."

"Yeah. A lot of the photos you take are of me after all," Jared says cockily and Jensen chuckles.

"I like to show the darker sides of life."

"Please. You're all about beauty."

Jensen wrinkles his nose, laughing against Jared's lips when Jared pulls him into another kiss, harder and deeper and Jensen lets himself get lost in it. The spring sun is warm on his skin and Jared smells like grass and earth and dog and his lips are warm and soft, sliding demandingly over Jensen's. Jensen tilts his head up, giving Jared better access and cups Jared's jaw. He can feel it move under his palm as Jared kisses his and it makes him push himself even closer to Jared.

They break apart when Harley barks and Jensen laughs self-consciously, looking around the park. There's a couple that's too distracted by each other to notice them and a few people with dogs that don't pay them attention either, but Jensen blushes anyway.

Jared just chuckles, rubbing a thumb over Jensen's left cheek. "Let's entertain the kids some more and then we can go home," he suggests, raising an eyebrow. "Go back to bed."

"That your idea of celebrating my potential exhibition?"

Jared grins. "Part of it, yeah. Awesome sex, then we can take a nap and then we'll go out for dinner tonight."

"Sounds good," Jensen agrees, pressing against Jared's side as they walk farther onto the meadow, where Jared's backpack is lying in the grass. Harley and Sadie start wagging their tails excitedly when Jared lifts the stick back up, getting ready to throw it.

"Your mom thinks Jeff and Cara might be having a kid," Jensen says suddenly as they watch Harley and Sadie chase after the stick sailing through the air.

Jared freezes for a moment, then turns and gapes at Jensen. "What?"

Jensen shrugs, doesn't know why he's bringing it up or why he hadn't told Jared a few nights ago after the phone call. "My mom told me. They want us to come down to Texas soon, get your whole family home to give Jeff the opportunity to tell everyone at once."

"He hasn't said anything to me."

"He hasn't said anything to your mom either, I think. Just some hunch she has. I don't know," Jensen says with a shrug.

"So your mom called _you_?"

"Yeah. I don't know. I think your mom didn't want anyone to know why she wanted you all home, so she made my mom talk me into coming for a visit with you instead," Jensen says. "Plus, you freaked out when Jeff got married."

"I didn't freak out."

Jensen raises his eyebrows. 

"Okay, so maybe a little. But only because my own lack of a relationship was kinda stressing me," Jared admits. "And obviously that's not gonna be an issue anymore."

Jensen leans into Jared and sighs. "Yeah," he agrees, pressing a kiss to Jared's shoulder and twining their hands. Several feet away Harley and Sadie are wrestling over the stick, Sadie twisting and turning as Harley tries to get it from her. "You might become an uncle."

"Yeah," Jared says, voice soft and when Jensen looks up at him he's smiling. "Would be kinda cool."

"Yeah."

"We could spoil the kid rotten, be the cool uncles who always bring presents and play with it."

Jensen turns his head until his face is pressed against Jared's arm and he breathes in deeply. We, he thinks. Not Jared, but both of them. 

"Yeah, maybe," he says into Jared's skin.

+

Jensen watches himself in the mirror as he brushes his teeth. There's a drop of toothpaste slowly sliding down from the corner of his mouth and he's wearing glasses because he kept his contact lenses in too long and now his eyes are a little puffy. The bridge of his nose is sunburned after the few hours they spent in the park. The pajama bottoms he's wearing are old and ratty and there are holes at the hem of the legs where he keeps stepping on them.

Most days, Jensen is aware that he's a pretty attractive guy and he pays attention to how he looks. Right now, he looks a little like a hobo, he thinks, and he feels stuffed with too much food, bloated, and a little tipsy from the wine they had with dinner. 

From the bedroom, he can hear Jared singing off-key, moving around the room as he gets ready for bed.

Jensen spits the toothpaste into the sink, washes his mouth clean with water, and wipes his face before dragging himself into the bedroom.

Jared's seen him in any state imaginable – dressed up and styled to unkempt and hungover. He probably doesn't even notice that Jensen isn't his most attractive right now, but Jensen suddenly feels in a hurry to get under the covers and hide his face in the pillows.

He grunts unhappily when he finally makes it onto the bed, and Jared chuckles, slapping his ass playfully as Jensen falls down face forward.

"You okay?"

"Too much wine, too much food, too much sun," Jensen lists, then groans. "I feel disgusting."

Jared chuckles. "I can assure you that you don't look disgusting," he says, and Jensen can feel him tug at the blankets Jensen is lying on.

He lifts up enough that Jared can pull them free, spreading them over Jensen and then the bed dips as Jared crawls in with him. He sighs in relief when Jared switches the bedside lamp off, basking them in darkness.

"You're probably not up for anything tonight, huh?" Jared asks in a playful voice, and Jensen feels Jared's hand slide up the back of his thigh, coming to rest on the curve of his ass. Big and warm and possessive.

"No," he grunts and Jared just laughs softly.

"At least you're not giving me the headache line," he teases, and presses a kiss to Jensen's cheek. Jensen twists his head, catching Jared's lips in a short kiss.

"Sorry," he mumbles. "Just wanna go to sleep."

Jared hums under his breath, sliding his hand from Jensen's ass around his waist. "Okay," he whispers, kissing Jensen again. "Good night."

"Night."

"Love you," Jared adds just as softly and Jensen turns to face him, tangling their legs under the blankets.

"I love you, too, Jared," he says. Jared lets out a content, small sigh and Jensen suddenly feels like maybe it doesn't matter that he's not looking too hot tonight. With Jared, it's been never about that anyway.

Nobody can be this lucky, he thinks again. But if Jared loves you it's impossible not to be the luckiest person in the world.

+

Jensen came out to his family when he was 17.

"Are you sure?" Jared asked the night before Jensen told them, the book he was reading for his English class lying discarded next to his knee. 

"I can't keep this a secret forever," Jensen answered with a shrug.

"Yeah, guess not," Jared agreed and gave Jensen an encouraging smile. "It'll be fine anyway. Your parents love you."

Jensen nodded, looking down at his math homework and pretending to be working on the problem until Jared picked his book back up. 

"Jared?" he asked, not looking back up from his notebook. "Just. If things aren't--okay--" 

"You'll move in with us. I'll let you have half of my bed and half of my closet," Jared said, voice teasing, but Jensen knew he meant it even if both of them knew it probably wouldn't come to that.

"What about your secret candy stash? Can I have half of that as well?"

Jared pretended to look shocked, then grinned and kicked Jensen gently. "Do your homework," he ordered.

"Yes, sir," Jensen replied.

They worked steadily until they were done, and Jared insisted he'd stay for the night just in case Jensen wanted to talk or started feeling nervous. They crawled into bed together, ignoring that it was too small for the both of them, and Jensen could feel Jared's breath on his neck as he closed his eyes.

"Jensen?" Jared whispered into the darkness. "If things don't go well, you can have all of my candy."

Jensen's lips twitched into a smile and he kept his eyes closed. "I know," he replied in a hushed voice. 

He told his parents the next afternoon, Jared standing right behind him. It felt like having a bodyguard, like Jared was ready to step in, drag Jensen out of the house and into the safety of his own if he had to. Jensen thought Jared was probably more tense than he himself was and he didn't relax until Jensen's mother hugged him close and his father ruffled his hair.

Back in his room, the door falling shut with a soft thud behind them, Jensen cried anyway. Cried from relief. And Jared wrapped his arms around him, holding him close and running soothing circles over Jensen's back.

"I'll share my candy anyway," he whispered into Jensen's ear when Jensen calmed down, and Jensen burst into laughter, clinging to Jared and burying his face back into Jared's shirt that was covered with snot and tears.

Jared just held him tighter and Jensen knew in that moment that Jared would never let go, that he'd always have this.

+

"Bad day?" Jensen asks as he steps past Jared into the house.

Jared's wearing sweatpants and a washed out t-shirt that Jensen thinks he might have bought back in college. His hair is disheveled and he looks tired, worn out.

"Work kicked my ass today," Jared replies, running a hand over his face. "When I started studying journalism I imagined this job to be a lot more glamorous than it is."

Jensen chuckles, tugging strands of hair behind Jared's ear and smoothing others down before pecking Jared on the lips. "Poor you."

"I know," Jared agrees, giving Jensen a pitiful look. "I work for a tiny newspaper, write stupid, pointless articles and some of my co-workers are so dumb it makes you wonder how they even managed to graduate from high school."

"You love your job."

"Not today," Jared argues. "Today I hated it."

Jensen kisses him again, soft and sweet, and presses their bodies together. "Have you had dinner yet?"

Jared shakes his head, winding his arms around Jensen.

"How about I order something for us then? You'll feel better once you ate something," Jensen promises. "We'll have a couple of beers, veg out on the couch."

"'kay," Jared mumbles, kissing the corner of Jensen's mouth. "And sex. I need tons of sex to make me feel better tonight."

"Sure," Jensen laughs, kissing Jared hard on the lips once before twisting out of Jared's arms. Jared follows him into the kitchen, watching him as Jensen sorts through the drawer where Jared keeps a few take out menus. He settles on Thai, placing their order before getting them a couple of beers from the fridge.

"I have a few photographs in my bag," he says, pointing to where he dropped it next to the counter.

Jared picks it up, getting out the photos. Jensen bites his lower lip, watching Jared as he looks through them.

"These are of me."

"Yeah."

"So?" Jared looks up, eyebrows raised.

"The gallery called and they're gonna showcase some of my stuff."

"And you wanna showcase these?" Jared asks, holding up the photos.

Jensen shrugs. "A couple of them. If you're okay with that," he says, taking a swig from his beer bottle. "They're some of my best work."

Jared looks back down at photos, brows furrowed.

"I don't have to," Jensen says, stepping around the counter and sliding between Jared's legs. 

"You have tons of other great photos," Jared points out.

"These are different," Jensen admits in a soft voice, taking the photos from Jared and looking down at them for a moment before placing them onto the counter carefully. He used photos of Jared for a few projects in college, but he's never used them for work. He knows part of the reason is that Jared wouldn't want him to, but mostly Jensen likes keeping the photos he takes of Jared to himself. They show Jared the way Jensen sees him, and that's a Jared Jensen has never wanted to share. He's not sure why he suddenly wants to showcase these photos, except that he thinks they're his best work, that these photos say more about him and his work than any others he's ever taken. Thinks that maybe he's reached a point where he can share these with people because, at the end of the day, he's the one Jared goes home with. 

He turns back to Jared, cupping his face in his hand. "Just think about it."

"Okay," Jared breathes out, nods. "I mean, sure. If you want to use them, Jensen, you can do it."

"Yeah? Are you sure? It's okay if you don't want your photos showcased, Jay, I'd get it."

"Nah, it's fine," Jared replies. He wraps his around Jensen and pulls him closer, rests his face on Jensen's shoulder. His lips brush against the skin of Jensen's neck. "Do I get paid for the photos?"

"I--sure. You can have part of the profit, if you want to," Jensen offers, carding his fingers through Jared's hair.

Jared laughs, breath warm and damp on Jensen's neck. "I was thinking about a different kind of payment actually."

"Oh," Jensen chuckles. "You can have that, too. Anytime."

"Always?"

Jensen sighs, turns his face until his lips rest against Jared's temple. He can feel Jared's pulse underneath his lips, soft and steady, and he can feel his own heartbeat matching. 

"Yeah," he says. He's always been Jared's anyway. And maybe, he realizes, it's not too soon, it's not too much. Maybe, after years of waiting for this to happen, for Jared to see him the way he's seen Jared since they were college kids, nothing can be soon enough.

+

Jensen watched Jared turn in a circle in the small room, a grin on his face.

Their boxes were stacked against the walls, still packed. Jared's backpack was on the bed farther away from the door – rock, paper, scissors had decided which bed would go to whom – and a soft breeze was blowing in from the window Jared had cracked open. 

He could hear other students in the hallway, chatter and laughter and heavy steps as people lugged boxes into their rooms.

"Our first place together," Jared said. He sounded as if they'd moved into their own apartment and not just a tiny dorm room with too small beds for guys their size.

Jensen laughed. "Yeah, I guess."

"It's awesome."

"It's kinda crappy," Jensen argued.

Jared chuckled, head thrown back and exposing his throat. "You're such a pessimist, Ackles. Shut up and enjoy this – the first place that's just ours. No parents and siblings. Just you and me," he said. "One day we'll get a place that meets your expectations. Until then, student accommodation it is."

"You got our whole future planned out already?"

Jared cracked a smile. "Haven't you?" he countered.

+

"I know we've only been dating for less than a year," Jensen starts.

Jared snorts. "I think we've been dating since the day we met."

Jensen cocks his head to the side, meeting Jared's eyes. They're lying on their backs in the backyard of Jared's house, sun shining down on them. "That's kinda sick, man. We were kids."

"Kindergarten sweethearts."

Jensen looks at Jared, at the grin on his face, and shakes his head. "You're an idiot."

Jared cackles, rolling on top of Jensen and looking down at him with bright, happy eyes. "Yeah, maybe," he admits and kisses Jensen.

Jensen lets him, straining up to meet Jared's lips, and kisses him back. Jared is heavy and the box in the back pocket of Jensen's jeans is digging into his ass almost painfully, but when Jared slides his tongue past Jensen's lips, Jensen moans softly. They kiss for a while, lips and tongues sliding together lazily and Jared slips one hand under Jensen's t-shirt, fingertips rubbing the skin just above the waistband of Jensen's jeans.

"Jay," Jensen groans, pulling back. He presses his hands to Jared's chest, halting him when Jared tries to lean back down. "I'm actually trying to tell you something here."

"Okay. Hurry up so I can go back to kissing you."

Jensen sighs. "Get off me for a moment, okay?"

Jared slumps a little. "Can't it wait?" he asks.

When Jensen shakes his head, he rolls of him, lying on his back next to Jensen. Jensen takes a deep breath, taking in the smell of fresh grass. 

"So, we haven't been together for that long," he starts again.

"You already said that," Jared cuts in and Jensen turns his head to face him, reaching out to slap Jared's chest.

"Would you shut up for a moment?"

Jared rubs his stomach, making a face even if Jensen knows he didn't hit him hard enough to even sting.

"You're making this impossible," he mutters.

"Making what impossible? You trying to tell me how long we've been together?" Jared asks teasingly. "I know that already."

"Jared."

"Yes, dear?"

Jensen groans, sitting up. "Would you please shut up for one moment so I can propose to you?" he asks, peering down at Jared.

Jared's eyes widen, his mouth opening as if he wants to say something before he snaps it back shut. 

"Can I talk now?" Jensen asks.

Jared nods, eyes still wide.

"Okay, so. We've only been together for a few months," he says, giving Jared a glare just in case he's going to quip up. When Jared keeps his mouth shut tight, Jensen's lips twitch into a smile. He leans over Jared, holds himself up on his elbows and grins, even if his heart is beating twice as fast as usual and his stomach is twisting.

"But I love you," he continues. "I love you, Jared. And I know that if there's a person I want to spend the rest of my life with, it's you. It's always been you."

Jared smiles up at him then. "Jensen," he says in soft voice.

"Shhh," Jensen says. "Marry me, Jared Padalecki?"

Jared laughs, wrapping his arms around Jensen and flipping them over. Jensen lands on his back with a thud and he huffs when Jared crawls on top of him, but before he can say anything Jared covers his lips with his own, kissing him.

"So yes?" Jensen asks when they break apart, lips still brushing together.

"Hell yeah," Jared replies and kisses him again, wet and sloppy and laughing into it.

+

Jared's fingers dig into Jensen's thighs, right hand slippery with lube, and Jensen curls his fingers into the sheets as Jared presses into him. He holds his breath, Jared sliding in in one go, cock hard and big, burning and stretching and fucking perfect.

"Jensen," Jared says, voice gruff. He's blinking down at Jensen with wide eyes, looking almost awed as if it's the first time they've done this.

"Fuck," Jensen grunts, sucking in a shaky breath. "Move."

Jared laughs softly, the sound turning into a moan when Jensen rocks his hips. 

Jared's chest is already glistening with sweat, his hair falling in strands into his face, and he starts fucking Jensen almost painfully slow. He slides in just right with each thrust, his hold on Jensen's hips tight enough that Jensen can't do much but lie there, writhe under Jared as Jared sets the pace. Just the steady roll of hips, bodies rocking together on the sheets, Jared's lips on his, swallowing down Jensen's moans.

He fucks Jensen deep, pulling almost all the way out with each thrust and pushing back in slow, all the way. Jensen wants more, wants Jared to fuck him hard and fast, but Jared's rhythm is almost maddening, the burn of Jared's cock almost too much. It's better than anything else has ever felt in Jensen's life. 

Jensen's heart is beating fast, his whole body tingling with pleasure and want and need.

It feels like an eternity and it's over way too quickly. Jensen comes hard enough that the sees white for a moment. 

Jared chants his name as he comes moments later, body going limp on top of Jensen's.

They lie together in silence for a moment, breathing harsh and bodies pressed together, sticky with come and sweat.

When Jared rolls off him, Jensen grabs his hand, keeping him close. He twines their fingers together, feels the unfamiliarity of the ring he slid on Jared's finger earlier against his skin. He rests their joined hands on his chest.

Jared makes a content noise, cuddling closer and presses a kiss to Jensen's neck. "We're getting married," he whispers, sounding happy and awed.

"Yeah," Jensen chuckles.

Jared joins in, laughing softly and pressing a kiss to Jensen's cheek. "Our families are gonna freak."

"We can tell them this weekend," Jensen says. "If Jeff isn't having a baby after all, your mom will still have something to get excited over."

Jared chuckles, sliding one leg between Jensen's. "Yeah," he agrees, then lets out a sigh. "You're never getting rid of me now."

"I'm okay with that," Jensen says.

+

Jensen looked over to Jared who was looking at his hand - at the cord tied around his finger, identical to the one on Jensen's finger - a bright red crayon clutched in his hand.

When he met Jensen's gaze, he grinned widely.

"Swap?" he asks, holding out his crayon. 

Jensen took it and handed Jared the blue one instead. His grin was just as wide as Jared's.


End file.
